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True confession: yesterday was the first time in several weeks that I ate within the normal healthy range. For what feels like forever (but was probably 10 days) I just couldn’t stop eating sweets. Most days I was probably consuming about twice the normal amount of calories for someone my size.
Which, frankly, isn’t very hard to do!
It was annoying to be in the midst of it, but I have -for better or worse- a certain familiarity with this process. I’ve learned that for the most part, it doesn’t work for me to try and stop unhealthy eating outright. When I’ve attempted that in the past, my inner two year old ends up throwing a tantrum and the next thing I know I’m sitting on the floor surrounded by cookie crumbs and empty boxes.
That’s because I overeat to take care of something inside me, not to be “bad”.
Interestingly, although I’m a fanatical tracker, I came to a dead stop when all of this started to happen. My guess is that my food journal ended up blank from a sense that writing it down would feel shameful or punishing. No matter how much I talk to OTHER people about not judging themselves based on their food choices, it’s hard for me to practice what I preach.
Of course, two days of being on course doesn’t necessarily prove anything, but I have a feeling that I’m going to be doing much better for a while. It’s strange, but I find that sometimes a vicious circle (eating too much, feeling bad, eating more) can turn into a virtuous cycle (eating well, feeling better, exercising more) under the right circumstances.
What helped this time around? Good question.
While I didn’t have any particular a-ha moment, for several days I worked on being very positive, on identifying what I was doing without judgement, and picturing what success would look like. If you think about it, those are probably habits to keep up for a lifetime. Treating myself well always works better than beating myself up.
Another true confession: All of this is a lot of work.
But having seen the alternative, I think it’s worth it.
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You are back on track–congrats–you continue to be an inspiration–not because you’re perfect, but because you reveal you are not.
Comment by Anonymous 11.21.09 @ 11:36 pm