Ordinary

I don’t think of myself as a particularly extraordinary person. Sure, I have skills and talents and experience at certain things (not to mention a nice haircut and some great shirts), but I wouldn’t say those things necessarily set me apart from the average joe. I know plenty of people with sunnier dispositions, or who are far more artistic, or musically gifted, better with numbers, have more generous spirits, or what have you.

And I think that’s why I have such a strong belief that losing and maintaining weight is not an inaccessible impossibility. Granted, the percentage of people who have been successful at this is pretty small. But that probably depends on how you define “success.” If you tie it to the numbers on the scale, sure, there aren’t many people who go from “obese” to “normal” and then stay there. But if you think of success as “making smarter, healthier choices that lead to long-term better health” I would think the number of success stories would be pretty reasonable.

Or at least large enough not to give up hope.

For a long time I believed that if I could just make it to goal, I’d be fine. Then I decided as long as I maintained for one year, I’d be fine. But over time I realized that there would always be challenges, that there is no cure, and that I pretty much have to stick to permanent behaviors if I am to avoid gaining weight.

Frankly, I’m glad I was naïve to begin with. I’d been on diets before and failed, so I wasn’t completely clueless. But I think there was a part of me that felt at some point I’d be able to go on autopilot and the rest would take care of itself. So I made sacrifices, implemented changes, started eating and exercising differently, and took up food journalling, all in the belief that it would eventually get to be a lot easier (or that I wouldn’t have to keep doing it at all).

What I discovered, however, was that it doesn’t get easier, per se. It just doesn’t get HARDER. And sometimes that’s enough. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything herculean or unusual in order to maintain my weight. I’m just practicing lots of little cumulative habits that seem to work and don’t feel unbearable to keep up. I find that I am imperfect, that I get impatient, that I go through bouts of exasperation, and am not always eating as well as I could be. But none of those things has caused me to throw in the towel these past six years.

So ultimately, if there is indeed anything extraordinary about me, perhaps it’s that I don’t give up. I’m tenacious and stubborn, and I don’t like to give in. I’m not sure that those are skills or talents, but regardless, those characteristics serve me well.

And if they work for me, surely I can’t be so rare?