Get Real, Get Results

After my Education for Ministry class tonight I was shooting the breeze with some co-parishioners and the subject of my weight-loss work came up. One of my friends, in particular, was talking about how her doctor told her she needed to do something about her cholesterol and her weight and that she wanted her to try WWers. I gave my friend the shortest and most concise spiel I could – basically saying that its about making changes that last.

She asked if it was easy. And I said, “No, it’s not. It’s realistic.”

This week one of my coworkers has asked me for a lot of information about the program as well, talking about how she wants to get ready for bathing suit season. I mentioned that our approach is about making small changes that slowly lead to long-term results. I encouraged her to sit in on a meeting (I run one in our office!) to decide if it made sense for her. I then assured her that if she chose to join, I would ensure that she had the knowledge she needed, but that she would have the most success if she were able to commit to regularly attending and being part of a group – either the one at work, or another one elsewhere. She was enthusiastic and announced she would show up for the meeting at noon today.

She didn’t. But she did send out an announcement about a “pizza bash” she wants to host on Friday.

Another co-worker of mine who DOES belong to the meeting (or rather, PAYS to attend, but then only stays long enough to get her weight and then leaves) expressed extreme frustration at the scale today. She’s been gaining weight and is upset about a new medication she’s taking and by the fact that she’s “being perfect and not seeing any results.” I asked her what she would like to do for herself in the week ahead. “I don’t know,” she said “I can’t do anything more than I’m already doing.”

While I am not passing judgement (seriously), what I do know from working about 5 feet away from her is that just in this past week she has had cookies and candies and treats galore from the piles that have been in our break room the past few days. I believe she purchased several boxes of girl scout cookies as well.

While all three of these people are wildly different from one another in age and lifestyle, I think they have something in common – and it’s something that I, too, shared with them at one time. Namely, denial.

You can’t lose weight without doing some hard work. You can’t lose weight by saying you’ll start and then not starting. And you can’t lose weight eating a lot of excess calories, but pretending you’re not. (Boy, have I been there and done that!)

If I were able to get any message at all across to these people it would be that it’s okay to wait until you’re really and truly ready before you embark on a weight loss journey. In fact, you won’t be successful UNTIL you are ready. Change is difficult, but change is required. You cannot have different results if you don’t have different inputs.

Lastly, I would totally encourage any of these three to actually sit and stay for a meeting (and hopefully participate). I know that not all meetings are good ones, but we live in San Francisco and I personally know of many great meeting leaders and groups that are held all different days and times. There’s no way to know if you’re ready to change if you don’t at least give it a shot. And going it alone has never worked for me.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep smiling and keep listening. I’m in no position to tell anyone what they “should” do. I can only bide my time until that elusive “click” happens that snaps them out of denial.

Since it took me forty years to wise up, myself, I’m not holding my breath.